The hardest part

September 2012

I always knew that leaving the city wasn't going to be easy. London and I had come to a very relaxed way of living together and life was pretty settled before I left. It's been a year now and seemed a timely point to check on whether things were still heading the way I'd planned...

Of course they aren't, (the best laid plans, and all that) I didn't live out a full year on the farm and I'm no longer focussed on horticulture and not delivering veg into London. Once again I have two jobs to sustain my existence and might be living a tad beyond my means. Current plans are heading in the direction of a house, much less off grid and sustainable, rather prefabricated, space beyond my needs and a wee garden. 

This blog post is not intended as doom and moan, au contraire. I am working in a job I love, that brings together caring for people with working on the land. Not only do I have the benefit of working on the farm through the seasons, but now I see the profound impact it has on others. This has brought me to the realisation, finally that it certainly has been the 'right' risk for me to take. It has led me to a career I would never have imagined in which I am able to direct my enthusiasm for farming, the outdoors and craft (yay), in such a positive way as tools to care for and develop others.

A fundamental reason for escaping the city was to remove myself from the stream that was pushing me ever onwards, up that ladder of success. This year more than ever before, I feel that I have gone with the flow. I've tried really hard to go with what feels right, even when that goes against my predetermined expectations and natural decision making.

Right now, the lack of funds has become something of a worry. In an ideal world I'd follow the example so beautifully demonstrated by Kevin MacLeod recently and get my couple of acres, create a home that bears no impact and spend my hours working the land and with all it produces. However, I have confidence that each step I take in life moves me closer to my ideal and little by little, though that ideal might be ever shifting, I am realising my dreams.