Well, it has been almost 10 months since I moved to Devon, and nearly 2 and a half years since I left London. Not quite a brand new adventure anymore, but I have certainly reached a point where a pause to reassess the direction is necessary.
Since leaving London I have hovered just above and below minimum wage, volunteered a lot of time, been an 'apprentice' and gone freelance. I'm not really sure whether I had intended to do any of that, and on the most part I've made it work (thanks largely to a sojourn with my ever patient parents).
However, before Christmas it felt like I'd really cracked it. Working on the land, with adults and kids with disabilities - that's what I want, and feels like where I'm headed. So let's just start a charity, or a soc ent or whatever it turns into being. I bought a web domain, had offers from potential trustees, started looking into the laws, set up another voluntary project to support the studying I've been doing...
And then I crashed. With a vision in sight, for the first time in years a concrete and tangible focus. But maybe it was the big dream I was lost in, forgetting about the day to day steps. And forgetting that all along the way I need to look after my physical and emotional health, and that of those who mean the world to me. Living on substancially less that I have, pretty much ever, with the added pressure of being in a new town (which isn't the right town) has been tough.
So that is what I am doing now, taking a step back, checking where I am. Talking to others, and listening, not to judgements (and believe me there are a few), nor taking advice, but simply listening and adding it to my own reflections.
Then I'll look again at the next few steps, perhaps make a dream plan and leave it somewhere it's not going to consume my everyday.
Meantime, I'm going to write, climb, do more yoga, dance, and focus on me for a while.
http://mindapples.org/ - this is a pretty good place to start.
