Week Twenty One - Taking a breath

It’s about time I squared up, I’ve been absent for a few weeks and from more than just the blog. The primary reason is losing a man who was so dear to me, integral to my outlook on life and part of my inspiration; namely by showing me the simple pleasures of growing food. I’ve allowed the grief to take me into all sorts of places; some incredibly hard, and others more productive, the most beneficial being a deep examination of why I’m here and what I hope to achieve from it. My Grandad had his own views on this particular farm which aren’t mine to share, but there was a healthy concern for me working so many hours for such little return on something ultimately belonging to and driven by somebody else. In his last few days he very openly said that he’d never seen me so happy and if the farm was the root of that, then it wasn’t so bad.

Spring is definitely an appropriate time to be taking stock.  Once again I find myself incredibly grateful to be so close to nature, literally in every moment I notice a new growth or a sound long forgotten; I’ve seen some birds that I’ve not glimpsed in years, and even a few completely new to me. The propagation tunnel is brimming with fresh shoots and the fields are coming into their own again. No longer do people walk around the farm, get to the edge of horticulture and turn around (a sight which always makes my heart a little heavy).  There are lambs bouncing around bleating and on more than a few occasions now my coats have all remained firmly in the porch, there’s even a little colour in my cheeks.

Still I find that life is not without its difficult moments. There is quite a contingent now of us who have been around 5 months or so, and I think there are moments where some (myself included) are becoming jaded. Not only are the days physically exhausting but the weeks are long, and much as I now have a fondness for this little village it doesn’t offer much in the way of light relief.  The great thing about Spring is that it presents the opportunity for many other forms of entertainment, and the additional daylight hour means things are suddenly looking brighter.

We’re now heading into week 21 and I’ve begun to settle into my place on the farm, finally. I’m a part of a strong horticulture team and am working hard to build up the number of people collecting our boxes in London. The future plan is becoming increasingly clear, and the next step is almost certainly to be yoga training with a view to this supporting my horticultural endeavours wherever they may take me. The bustle of London is a far cry and the yearnings are beginning to space out, though when I miss the city, it hits me hard. Still, I now have a birthday to look forward to, the bright lights of summer, and hopefully some time to get my sights back on track... and make my Grandad proud; enough of the update, now it’s time to kick into action.